Why is it still there? Why does it still hurt?

My back hurts – normal, lack of sleep, back not supported.
Been doing pharmaco since this morning – CNS depression, sedative, epileptics and schizo. I think I can go psychotic already or depress if I continue.
Maybe Joanne was correct. Maybe I do have bipolar disorder.
Guess my mind is just a dangerous thing. Controllable or uncontrollable.

I was concentrating when studying. But, I realized how many times my mind wandered towards sth else. Or rather towards that one thing. And now, I just wonder, why is it still there…so clear in my head.

Every single moment, every single conversation, every single meet.

It is not that I dun want to let go. I must say this time, it’s so much better as am not dwelling upon it. But why is it still there?? It’s going to be 3 months and it’s still there.

Why is it still there?
Why does it still hurt?
When will it go away?
When can I face you with a heart full of love and not runaway so that you dun feel how I feel whenever I see you?

Cos I am tired, exhausted, to handle it all by myself.