i think my body got its deserved rest.....thank you dear!
however, its wasnt really a good sleep....
by nine i konked out with the effects of two drowsy meds = flu and motion sickness
but by 11pm, woke up for toilet business
then 2pm i think, some crazy idiot just has to blast his/her speakers so loud with techno music
and 4plus, it started to rain and had to get up and close my windows.
worse of all, the heat was a killer thruout the nite
am sweating like a pig = quoting from my fave cute kids movie, little rascals!!
even chris's cooler din work, but just blowing hot air
nevertheless, i did get my rest.

so gonna have to mug hard now.
i just watched 6 episodes of ANTM cycle 11.
shoot me ppl!!

and as monday arrives, =<, sadly, i cant run away from psych....
goodbye microbi and contem

mug hard my nursing frens,....and those who are sitting for exams
to my m2 frens.....hang in there...you'll get used to the tiredness=>
and dun be afraid of the crash course skills....you all will master it in a few months time.=P

where i just want to sleep...
no!! actually,
I NEED MY SLEEP...
besides having the 'bloody epidemic',
eye bags are forming,
and my back pain is getting worse...
so yeah, I NEED MY SLEEP.

so what did i do about it?
cut down tea, chocolate, less caffeine consumption
resist afternoon naps
study as much as i can during the day so i will be tired by nite
and sleep early!!

outcome:
my brain just wont shut till the clock strikes one am
the earlier i try to get into bed,
i get up EVEN EARLIER EACH DAY.
arghhhh.....
body is breaking down,
BUT
my hyperactive brain is just sooo hyper....

what can i say...
blessed to have an active brain??
or
am sooo dead, am gonna fall sick sooon!!
sneezing = cold
back pain = physio girl said its chronic already
eye bags = turning to zombie
pale = anemia

great.....this is just great!!!!

** i think some are gonna kill me....I REALLLY REALLY prefer working on MICROBI than touching CONTEMP, MED SOCI or PSYCH!!!**

=P

it kills me that i hurt you this way
the worst part is that i didnt even know
i know you deserve much better
now theres a million reasons for you to go
but if you can find a reason to stay

ill do watever it takes
to turn this around
i know whats at stake
i know i have let you down
and if you give me a chance
believe that i can change
ill keep us together
watever it takes

cos id be lost without you
and never find myself
lets hold on to each other
above everything else

start over
if its ok with you....

i will do watever it takes
to turn this around
i know whats at stake
i know i have let you down
and if you give me a chance
believe i can change
ill keep us together
watever it takes

is definitely a bad day......

waking up early to catch my bus at 8am, the bus was late, din depart till 830am plus.
i could have slept another half an hour.

shopping back in kl without a bag, i left my stuff at my sis place, which now... is still with her.
there goes my cards...no more shopping at least for the next few months.

never was i so eager to come back to SG....checking my watch every 10 minutes like a crazy girl and was restless, eta was 1pm....
but i reached at 2.30pm.....
hoping to arrive asap, the feeling changed
to i hope the bus would drive a few more rounds on the road

hurt by the slightest thing, i have no idea whats in my mind, affecting others
resulting in a blow up, painful words and definitely painful decisions to make
outcome - i know what i want, it just up to you and hope to work things out

splitting headache, sleep deprived, how in the world can i study....
yes, finals is in less than 2 weeks and am in deep shit, seriously....
decision made - mission for exams, start officially on wednesday
i have tonite to bum around, to sleep, do nonsense and no more of these tomorrow

but its hard with the time off, with all the uncertainties, and status quo at stake
but am gonna try
cos am not gonna let january february of 2008 repeat itself
i am not gonna self destruct, but try to learnt o deal with it
and this is a promise i am making....to myself, to you, and definitely to my close frens who were there for me at that time, trying to save me

and wat ended the 'brilliant' monday just has to be a fall in the toilet......
yeah right.......urghhhh

eye eye
please stay open and not close so fast
brain brain
please absorb watever i am reading
stomach stomach
please dun sing your song so fast
or fat fat will be more.....

yeah...such a wrong time to slack!!
less than 3 weeks to finals, and am slacking
going back for 4 days, sure books are off my head

and wat am i doing now....
laundry
washing
editing pix
packing
tidying up room

yes...where's the books???

and not to forget,
smiling like a crazy girl.....
=)=)=)=)
cos i am indeed blessed to have You!!

yeap yeap, cant believe will be back home...well, 2nd home, kl in 24 hours time. back till monday.

but thats later, and now....now, i just ended my skills test = neurovascular and clc assessment.
and oh crap....am i really destinied to be with this lady??
my clinical instructor for 5 weeks, then my pbl tutor for one sem
and today....my assessor....oh goodness!!
shall not elaborate further bout me and her...cos i think am sure you have a hint on what am thinking, how i feel about this fate.

and talking bout my assessment...I SOOOO DUN WANNA FAILLL..
cos i felt i have tried my best, not tried, i really did perform welll...i did good in assessing!!!
and mind you, this is the first time i felt confident in a skills test.
i am so not gonna be sad if i fail, but will be really upset.....
the thing is if i did good, why think of failing...
well, thats because i did miss out some things
1. forgot to say din check case notes, docs orders
2. end din say report to doctor for changes
3. WORSE OF ALL, my vital signs i CROSS instead of dot!!

but again, its the assessment that should matter right??!!!!!
arghhh, i am gonna be restless till i see the results man.
yes, documentation is important but thats the vitals part.

and i am already 'unlucky' enough to have to EXPLAIN every single findings to the assessor, overshooting my 10 minutes....until jeff's eyes were big big when i come out of the room cos i took damn long....

crap crap crap
oh man....
i so dun wanna fail!!!
because of the stupid cross!!!!
so not worth it!!!

arghhhhh.......

strength, thats the main ingredient

tiredness, always tired....

it's hard....it's not gonna be easy
it's only the beginning
and i see it already

i am scared that i cant take it
i choose not to face it
though i still want it

its going to be tough
and its not just one of this
but many
and i wanna endure all this
end it well
but i cant do it alone

if only you knew
how hard it is for me
and help me enlighten everything
to just make things easier

strength......thats what i need
cos it is with the four majestic letter word
that i am doing this
for the most common three letter word
that i am doing this

completing everything
please give me the strength,
courage, perseverance
and patience...

1. i am going to have my skills test
- gonna have to practise and hope that fear of mine will be gone

2. i am going back to kl!!
- yeap, for easter and meet my parents, and so hope get to grab some home cooked food

3. reading week will come
- means needa be focused and disciplined

4. FINALS
- also means that i have to start mugging now actually
- and it hasn been really good

5. Attachment start
- another huge preparation for myself before starting postings
- so hope all will be smooth

6. Year 2 comes to an end
- and i am growing old

despite all thats gonna happen real soon,
am still gonna take step back
and enjoy every moment of my life to the fullest
with the people around me
who love and care for me dearly
cos with them, theres no real soon
but now and forever at heart.